October 2011
72 posts
9 tags
Frenchie Doodles Friday: I love Club Sandwiches...
September 2011
104 posts
4 tags
I take a certain medication that has a warning on...
5 tags
I shouldn't have to rise and shine if the sun...
1 tag
6 tags
Everyone is getting it in but me...I feel like...
7 tags
7 tags
Yesterday, a girl told me that she felt a ghost in...
8 tags
Quotes Wednesday: When a guy says, "We could go to...
This could either mean:
a) “Hi, I’m a nice guy who likes low key dates”
or
b) “Hi, I’d like to shove my tongue down your throat.”
5 tags
I really want to go into my kitchen and get some...
coralshellsandcarousels:
But 1) My roommate is out there and
2) I don’t have pants on and
3) I don’t have the slightest inclination to put pants on. Ever.
HURRY UP ROOMMATE!
This girl. Everything. About this girl. I am in love with.
4 tags
Terrible Pick-up Lines Tuesday: "Hey, pretty lady....
5 tags
I'm proud to say that I'm no longer single: Life...
4 tags
My "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster in my bedroom...
4 tags
“Mike: Hey man! We just ordered some pepperoni pizza. Want a slice?
John:...”
– A terrible vegetarian
7 tags
"It's all in the wits. It's all in the wits."
- Happy Gilmore’s Chubbs if he was analyzing Shakespearean comedies.
7 tags
That awkward moment when while brushing your teeth...
The girl standing next to you doesn’t.
3 tags
You know, Facebook, you're making so many goddamn...
6 tags
"...either my head is just itchy...or a bug just...
Curly-Haired Girl Problems
5 tags
I tried to kill a mosquito flying around my shower...
The one place I left open…
Touche, mosquito. Touche.
3 tags
A Set of Facebook Ads
How was I supposed to know that the Dog Walk meant that you had to be walking a dog? I was high! That’s why I was crawling around. That’s how dogs walk, isn’t it…? I guess this “Facing a Drug Charge” ad is convenient…
Facebook sure knows me well…
4 tags
How to get hot guys
ismiletohidemycrazy:
I’ve only been in college for a month, but I’ve already picked up GREAT tips for how to get guys from some real classy girls!
1. This one in particular is for those girls that wear jeans that give them muffin tops- wear leggings as pants, but not with a shirt that will cover your butt/camel toe. Guys LOVE it!
2. Go to a party and get so drunk that you throw up. Nothing...
9 tags
Cynicism Sunday
3 tags
Guy Nudes ≠ Girl Nudes
6 tags
Girls say "Guys with tattoos are so sexy." But...
8 tags
I get so little action that shaving my downstairs...
8 tags
You know, I'd like to be thin and pretty, but I...
8 tags
Someecards Saturday
2 tags
My electric toothbrush ran out of battery. Now I...
7 tags
I'm starting a new phrase: "Michael Boleyed"
Example of Use:
Person 1: “I love Lady Gaga so much…You could say I’m “gaga” for Gaga! Ha ha ha!”
Person 2: “…what you just said was so stupid that you deserve to be Michael Boleyed.”
7 tags
Slut: I just want to find a nice guy, you know?...
Me: You know what would help for that? Not being a slut.
7 tags
Nothing reaffirms the fact that you're a sad...
6 tags
I feel like my dating prospects would be much...
“If you like it, then you have to go on a date with me and if you like my personality too, then you have no reason not to keep me…”
8 tags
Futurama Fry-day:
Either way, I’m not touching it. Or going anywhere near it.
2 tags
How I Feel While Eating A King-Sized Pack of...
1-5 Twizzlers: “Yum, I love Twizzlers! I’m so glad I bought these.”
6-10 Twizzlers: “Wow, there are a lot of Twizzlers in here; I’m getting full.”
> 10 Twizzlers: “I’M GOING TO FUCKING BARF!”
4 tags
I'm going to go live in a convent so that when I...
3 tags
I have officially posted 69 times...my blog gets...
SIGH.
7 tags
10 Reasons to Date an Improv Player:
1. We love being active. 2. We’re all kinds of creative. 3. We won’t stop until someone says to. 4. “…if you know what I mean…” 5. We want to make you happy. 6. We love role playing. 7. We can follow your lead or take the lead. 8. We don’t mind playing with two or three other people at once. 9. We never say no. 10. When we’re done, you’ll leave...
4 tags
That moment when you just found the most perfect...
4 tags
Wait a second, I'm going to check...
6 tags
Box plots look like Tootsie Rolls; histograms look...
6 tags
I never thought that I'd have anything in common...
7 tags
Quotes-That-Don't-Work Wednesday:
Or you can cry.
Crying always helps.
6 tags
““Bitch, I’ma monster, no good blood sucker, fat motherfucker, now...”
– Dinner. Dinner is in trouble. That. And Rick Ross’s cholesterol.
5 tags
Friend: You and your crush are always on Facebook...
You: …yeah…coincidence…
5 tags
Don't lie about yourself just to get a boy to like...
4 tags
I've been feeling pretty stressed out lately, to...
Thanks.
For nothing.
5 tags
The more attractive you are, the less you actually...
Incredibly attractive guy: “Oh, look at me, I’m an incredibly attractive guy who’s parents bought him a fancy new camera and I took a picture of a bus stop sign in the city…”
Girl: “Woooow!” *rips off underwear*
6 tags
Why does anyone care what Tom Anderson from...
6 tags
Being sick at college is like being suspected as...
7 tags
4 tags
Cynicism Sunday
Whenever I’m about to do something, I always expect the worst. That way, if the worst happens, I’ll be prepared, and if something good happens, I’m surprised!
